Monday, March 20, 2006
Kindness
I need to thank so many people for their support, love, thoughtfulness and kindness- it's truly at times like these that we take comfort and solace in others. Even my few blog commenters, your thoughts are so appreciated and I feel that I don't walk alone. I wish I had it in me to show my appreciation to my friends and family and people that care, but I feel like a block of wood, I just don't have it in me.
Yesterday we scattered Piper and Laine's ashes at our special beach. It's called Hawley Beach near Devonport, and where Craig proposed to me just over 5 years ago. Last year we scattered our beautiful daughters' ashes there, yesterday Piper and Laine joined their big sisters in the ocean, the beautiful ocean that connects all land and all people. My heart broke even more, it feels so delicate, like I can feel every beat. Hopefully one day I will be whole again, I just wish I knew the why's of all this, and what the future holds for my lovely husband and I. I know I am blessed and should sit back and give thanks for all that I do have, but I can't because I don't have my children still growing inside me where they belong, safe until they were ready to live their lives. I see myself in the reflections of glass and don't recognise myself, the grey sunken eyes and lack of my gorgeous big belly just don't resonate with me anymore. A stranger looks back.
// posted by M @ 5:39 pm 
