Thursday, March 23, 2006
Lovely Jen
I just have to say a quick thank you to my lovely friend Jen (visit her at Womb With a View)- who not only does lovely things to make me smile like send me letters and movies-but has helped me sort my blog out a bit! She has managed to make my comments open to everyone (I didn't even know they weren't!), put up some links to other blogs and generally made it look a lot nicer. Thank you gorjwa.....
As for me, I'm definitely still on auto-pilot and the people around me are scared I'm going to explode. While the numbness gets me through I will go with it, if I think of Piper and Laine I hurt too much and I don't want to hurt. My Mum is still staying with me but has made the decision to go home next Thursday, I think she didn't want to go because she's so scared I'm going to meltdown, but if I do I do, if I don't well then I suppose I don't. Everyone tells me that sooner or later I have to cry and allow myself to feel the pain and the hurt, but I just can't and I don't want to.
My wonderful IVF WonderDoc rang me last night, I am honestly so lucky to have such wonderful health professionals around me. My ob and the staff at her rooms, my gp and my ivf clinic- they all feel more like friends than people I pay to look after me. We will go and see WonderDoc in a few weeks just to regroup and work out a plan of attack, I think that if I have a focus on something else I can shelve my grief a bit longer; and again if that's how I cope then that's how I'll do it. I want to do a stim cycle sooner rather than later, I know that anyone reading this and what we've gone through will think us mad, but I figure that ivf and pregnancy are just so shitty that I just want to get it over and done with, if that makes sense?
// posted by M @ 8:08 am 
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awww stop I'm all berryassed! no wait I'm not I accept chocolate and coffee :o)
I know how much having a plan B can help so I don't think your mad for wanting to talk over what next and when next with WonderDoc (just make sure I'm done with him first tho or kapow to the moon ma).
You do what you need to do we all grieve differently and from one horrible happening to the next, it's not the same. you have a safe place to fall regardless and lots of people who love you and support you no matter how you react or hold together.
see you next week! duckling socks included.
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I know how much having a plan B can help so I don't think your mad for wanting to talk over what next and when next with WonderDoc (just make sure I'm done with him first tho or kapow to the moon ma).
You do what you need to do we all grieve differently and from one horrible happening to the next, it's not the same. you have a safe place to fall regardless and lots of people who love you and support you no matter how you react or hold together.
see you next week! duckling socks included.
# posted by 
: 2:37 pm
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